diegogirl81 (diegogirl81) wrote in losangelesteach,
diegogirl81
diegogirl81
losangelesteach

THIS DAMNED LOCKDOWN!

UGH! I completely understand! The entire week has been so difficult, but yesterday was the worst! Here is what happened during my day:

period 1/2 (my first two hour block): I lost my voice completely--and I mean NO sound could come out. I took away a gang-related note from this girl which referenced "blasting your enemigos," "smokin' bud," "ditching," and "28th Street (a gang." She had the balls to ask if she could have it back, at the end of the period, I said "Hell no girl, I'm callin' your mama! (not in those exact words of course---lol :P) There was no nutrition, but thank god food was passed out in the class. But that was 20 more minutes that I really didn't want to see my students.

Period 3/4: I called the mother of the "gang girl," and she said that she would come in for a parent conference after school. There were like 6 people tardy super late(the same damn kids each time) and I sent them to the referral room after threatening to call the city attorney for truancy. Bc of the lockdown situation, I had to stay with them an extra hour and I hate this class, so it was truly hell! By the time it was time to go, I was about to lose it. I'm no drama queen,but I have to say that I hadn't felt this bad since my first year. I went to the teacher's lounge (which was empty) and cried my eyes out at lunch--on top of that, the school gossip walked in to use the bathroom and saw me.

Period 5: There were no problems. The kids are perfect, the majority of them love to learn, and they show me the utmost respect. However, I was so on edge, and wasn't the best teacher I could be.

Period 6: I was still on edge when the gangster girl and her mother came in, and the girl denied that the note was hers. I said "Um honey, you asked for the note back at the end of class, and she replied "Well, it wasn't mine--I was just trying to get it back for a friend." Then the mother began siding with her daughter, and I just walked the fuck out of the meeting--I didn't have the patience or energy to defend myself anymore. When I got home, there were about 5 messages on my phone from some of the other teachers--"Are you okay? I heard you had a nervous breakdown in the teacher's lounge."

Looking back, I am ashamed of my behavior, but I am only human, and once in a while, humans can break, and that is what happened to me. I haven't had a day like that since my first year, and I hope it doesn't happen for a LOOOOOOOONG time to come!
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